{"id":2631,"date":"2012-10-12T03:00:33","date_gmt":"2012-10-12T10:00:33","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.scottcochrane.com\/?p=2631"},"modified":"2012-10-12T06:16:58","modified_gmt":"2012-10-12T13:16:58","slug":"when-the-pastors-teen-rebels","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/scottcochrane.com\/index.php\/2012\/10\/12\/when-the-pastors-teen-rebels\/","title":{"rendered":"When the Pastor\u2019s Teen Rebels\u2026"},"content":{"rendered":"

There are few realities more painful for a church leader than dealing with a teenage son or daughter who is living in rebellion.<\/p>\n

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Photo source: IStock<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

In my years in pastoral ministry my three kids never ended up completely in the ditch, but a couple of them had their wheels skid off the road for a while. And it was during these challenging seasons that I developed a single, simple mantra that I have passed on to other ministry leaders countless times.<\/p>\n

Always<\/span><\/strong> leave the front porch light on.<\/strong><\/p>\n

By that I mean no matter how far they stray let them know that you love them and that you are for<\/em> them.<\/p>\n

Here\u2019s why.<\/p>\n

At some point your teenage son or daughter will have an awakening; a moment of clarity when they take stock of their life and say, \u201cWhat am I doing?!\u201d In that moment they will realize the path they are on is one of emptiness and loneliness.<\/p>\n

And at the point they are going to turn someplace. They will turn to the place where they feel loved and accepted.<\/p>\n

Make sure that place is with you.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Here are three tangible ways you can leave the relational front porch light burning bright:<\/p>\n

1.\u00a0\u00a0 <\/strong>Let your rebellious teen know they are more important to you than your \u201cpolished image\u201d<\/strong><\/p>\n

Pastors are supposed to have a perfect marriage, perfect kids and a perfect family. Let your son or daughter know they are more important to you than that image.<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/strong>2.\u00a0\u00a0 <\/strong>Draw clear boundaries, but pick your battles<\/strong><\/p>\n

Never compromise on the values you have established, but don\u2019t make everything<\/em> a fight. In our home I didn\u2019t make church attendance a hill worth dying on. But extending courtesy to family members was non-negotiable.<\/p>\n

3.\u00a0\u00a0 <\/strong>Tell them you love them again, and again, and again, and again\u2026<\/strong><\/p>\n

You won\u2019t always feel like it, but say it anyways.<\/p>\n

This is not a three-step formula. Instead, think of these ideas as simple reminders that you need to find ways to keep your relational front porch light on.<\/p>\n

Because when your teen is in a season of rebellion it could be that nothing will be more important than letting them see that light shining brightly.<\/p>\n

What lessons have you learned when your teen has been in a season of rebellion?<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

There are few realities more painful for a church leader than dealing with a teenage son or daughter who is living in rebellion. In my years in pastoral ministry my three kids never ended up completely in the ditch, but a couple of them had their wheels skid…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_bbp_topic_count":0,"_bbp_reply_count":0,"_bbp_total_topic_count":0,"_bbp_total_reply_count":0,"_bbp_voice_count":0,"_bbp_anonymous_reply_count":0,"_bbp_topic_count_hidden":0,"_bbp_reply_count_hidden":0,"_bbp_forum_subforum_count":0,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[22,716,478,579,715],"tags":[979,980,981],"class_list":["post-2631","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-church","category-fatherhood","category-featured","category-ministry-2","category-parenting","tag-parenting-2","tag-pastors-teens","tag-rebellion"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/scottcochrane.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2631","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/scottcochrane.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/scottcochrane.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/scottcochrane.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/4"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/scottcochrane.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2631"}],"version-history":[{"count":10,"href":"https:\/\/scottcochrane.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2631\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2639,"href":"https:\/\/scottcochrane.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2631\/revisions\/2639"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/scottcochrane.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2631"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/scottcochrane.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2631"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/scottcochrane.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2631"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}